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Swimfan (2002)


swimfan 2002Was in the mood for a psychological thriller and ended up with this. I’ve seen it once before but didn’t remember much of it so it was an easy choice when it showed up on Netflix. Pretty good cast in this movie actually. I was trying to figure out where I’ve seen Jesse Bradford before and ding, The West Wing and Bring it on. I’m not sure what to think of his character in this movie tho, a one-nighter with the hot blonde when he’s already dating the hot brunette. I guess it could happen to someone getting into a relationship to young and getting pressure to move in and such.. but he has Amy (Shiri Appleby from Roswell) so I dunno… That being said, Madison (Erika Christensen) is very alluring so maybe it isn’t that far-fetched after all. This is the only movie I’ve seen a la Fatal Attraction with Close’n Douglas… the difference between’em is.. I’ve seen this twice (no more bunnies in casseroles thank you very much). Personally tho, I’d settle for a lovecrazed fan girlfriend than no one… or…?

Some nice cameos in the movie as well with Kate Burton (Grey’s Anatomy/Scandal), Dan Hedaya (The usual suspects/Commando) and James DeBello (Detroit Rock City/American Pie). Swimfan, as I’ve said earlier, I’ve seen before. Might even check it again at some point. It’s a good thriller… Definitely better than the average on imdb.com voted… in my opinion.

Director John Polson has done lots of episodes on Elementary, Blue Bloods and The Mentalist. Three tv-series in my favorite pool (I watch a lot of series 300+ so when  I say favorite pool It’s like the top 50). He also did the movies Hide and Seek (2006) and Tenderness (2009).

..I rate this movie 7/10 stars..


The Da Vinci Code (2006)


the-da-vinci-code

3rd time I watch this since it came along. Never read the books but I sure love the movies. Never were a fan of the church so to me this is a perfect thriller with true evil, egotistical and despicable characters. I do believe in God, just not anything with church or the bible (as they are both manmade and based on even older religions). So many historical events has made me despise everything about them… tho the churches has always been pretty landmarks. Faith is good, fanatisism not… and there I digress again… I’ll stop myself.

The Da Vinci code pretty much have me on the edge of my seat every time I watch it. It’s perfect to watch once every leapyear as the only thing I seem to remember about it every time is the Bloodline thingie and the Albino dude. I like Tom Hanks as Langdon and Jean Reno I like in everything. I actually wish Jean was in every movie as he’s that awesome. A few typecast people in this as well, Jürgen Prochnow, Alfred Molina and Paul Bettany questionable characters as usual. I find Ian McKellen to be quite cheerful in this one, he made me laugh on more than one occation. Don’t remember seeing Audrey Tautou in anything else. She’s got such haunting eyes… cute.

Mystery thrillers like this doesn’t really come out all that often. I can’t remember the last time one came along after this… besides the sequel that is. It sort of borders the adventure category with riddles and quests. I love it… Great cast, great musical score and great locations. Director Ron Howard has never really disappointed me with any of his movies. So much goodies on his resume; Willow (1988), Edtv (1999) and Ransom (1996) to mention a few.

..I rate this movie 8/10 stars..


Siren (2013)


siren 2013Not quite what I expected but the title was fitting. Siren, enought to drag me in and keep my attention just with the title. Can’t remember seeing Vinessa Shaw in anything else (she was in 3:10 Yuma and Ray Donovan tho, had to look it up). The male actor, Robert Kazinsky, I know I’ve seen in True Blood and Pacific Rim. I like him, kinda slick and cool. Something very earthy about him…

The movie itself was kinda predictable there in the end but I enjoyed it even tho it had a slow phased story.. and yet still interesting enough to keep me focused on the story and not the time. I’m glad I don’t have her curse that’s for sure… I’d rather be alone all my life than having people throw themselves at my feet. Not a movie I’d watch again but time well spendt this one time. Wouldn’t recommend watching it in a tired state tho, especially if you’re the type to fall asleep of movies like Die Hard.

The movie is directed by Jesse Peyronel who up till now only did this movie and an episode of the newly cancelled tv-series Dracula. Sure it’s not the last we’ll see of Jesse in the end credits.

..I rate this movie 6/10 stars..

Didn’t find a trailer of this one but a short making of thingie.


Pentathlon (1994)


pentathlon 1994Another day another movie with Dolph Lundgren. It’s lots of them on youtube so I’ll be watching more of ‘em in the future it seems. Some crazy germans in this one, I especialy found the ex-stazi fellow with the boombox going berserk in the burger place hillarious. The main villain (David Soul) was kinda nuts as well… it’s nice to see a movie where the villain isn’t boring for a change.

The most memorable moment tho is Renée Coleman (Julia) in that black thing before the run on the beach… male chauvinistic of me I guess… or is it? I mean, can one comment on a woman looking good at all today without sounding like a pig ? I feel bad just finding one attractive so I never say anything at all anymore. They are best admired from afar, in my case on screen which works out just fine for an agoraphobic like me (I honestly think were not that far away from building those helmets they used in Demolition man, you know that scene with Bullock and Stallone, the mind sex helmet thingie). For the record, I look at myself as an equalist. Oh and while I’m on the subject of pigs… those ribs looked delish… tho I should probably have gone for the salad as well. Yet another movie that makes me digress.

I can’t remember seeing this before and I doubt I will again… but it wasn’t boring, that’s for sure. Kinda average but a better average than I’ve seen lately. The movie is also known as Ironman. It’s directed by Bruce Malmuth who also did Nighthawks (1981), The Man Who Wasn’t There (1983) and one of Steven Seagal’s better movies Hard to Kill (1990).

..I rate this movie 5/10 stars..


10,000 days (2010)


10000 DaysIf you google this you will get two imdb.com results. One as a movie (2014) and one as a tv-series. I guess they decided to re-release this as a movie since the tv-series never happened so I choose to review it as a tv-series pilot, not a movie… Mostly because you will have no real ending to this flick as it’s ment to continue when end credits hits.

The movie/serie caught my attention because I love disaster movies so I had to watch this of course… I knew it would be a disaster (pun intended) as most movies in this genre isn’t very impressive effectswise.. and this, is one of those at the bottom of the barrell. CGI bad, the snow doesn’t look remotely real and there isn’t one likeable character in it. It still managed to entertain me tho even tho I was raising my eyebrow on more than one occation (like jumping down a cliff on snowboard and even that looked fake… or when the chick “died” on the plane). I also knew not to expect an ending as I knew this was a pilot.

One familiar face, Peter Wingfield (Sanctuary) who plays the villain. How can they say this was just completed on imdb.com by the way. It’s 4 years old ?! Oh well.. whatever. At least the story and consept is good, I kinda wish Netflix remade this and made it a tv-series like it was supposed to be. With better effects and direction this would have had potential (the directing was kinda shit actually.. the fight scenes were horrendous). The casting on the other hand was pretty good… doesn’t help much when this movie is 90% CGI.

Kudos to Eric Small for writing this… I just wish he hired someone else to direct, doing it yourself isn’t always a great idea. Not a movie I’d watch again but I can at least add it to the queue of disaster movies I’ve watched in the past… and for the record, If you choose to do like me and watch this like it was a movie with a budget of $1000 dollars or less… in the end I at least was entertained. It kinda felt like the movie The Colony with a twist…

..I rate this movie 4/10 stars..

(yup, i’ve seen plenty worse… might have been a tad to kind tho)


Shogun’s Ninja (1980)


Shoguns NinjaBeen trying to buy this movie for ages. I had it on VHS back in the day but now it only exist on region 1 dvd with one exception. I found a german distributor that sells it uncut on amazon uk but they don’t ship to my country so fuck’em. I google this every so often to find it in some onlinestore but no luck thus far. I found it on youtube in 3 different versions. The original but with subs that shows up 2 minutes before the action, a french dubbed and an english dubbed… ended up watching the english dubbed as the uber shitty subtitling got annoying real fast. Not a big fan of dubbed movie but for this one I let it slide. I love it…

I’m a fan of Hiroyuki Sanada and this is among my favorites. It might have piss poor editing, the worlds weirdest soundtrack and is poorly introduced on imdb.com with a movie cover that makes no sense… but I still love the adventure, fighting, cliches… heck I even love that weird dance number in the middle after the cookening. The english dubbed version also had some hillariousness with the dead cock and all… but I’d love to have seen the original with the usage of “you insolent bastard” in every now and then. I also found the spider ninja’s to be cool… and as an epilogue to the movie I’d wonder why a hardcore ninja wouldn’t pick some daggers out of the ocean after going through all that stuff in the movie. How hard could that be compared to climbing trees effortlessly, or fighting dusins of swordsmen or moving underground like a mole… Oh and Shin’ichi Chiba (Sonny Chiba) is pretty cool in this as the Shogen with his two minions… and Etsuko Shihomi (Ai-Lian) reminded me of that street fighter chick Chun-Li.

A big thank you to whomever decided to share this on youtube. It makes me sad that it’s so hard to find early 80’s movies on dvd or blu-ray with my region. I know they’re usually region free but it’s hard to come by site’s that sell’em (if you know on please let me know ’cause amazon is getting old real fast… i already stopped using play.com, they’re useless now.. and pricy). Oh well, I digress as usual. I’d watch this movie every so often cause it always makes me smile… Prefer the original with subs tho.

Don’t think I’ve seen anything else from director Noribumi Suzuki. He’s known for movies like Sex and Fury (1973), Convent of the sacred beast (1974) and Roaring Fire (1982). He passed away at 80 in 2014.

..I rate this movie 7/10 stars..

Ps. Notice that sexy music when that old fart comes jumping, epic !!!


Barbarian Queen II : The Empress strikes back (1990)


Barbarian Queen 2This did honestly not feel like a movie made in 1990. If I had to guess it would be an early 80’s movie… oh well, one of the worst movies I’ve seen this year by far… yet, I somehow managed to get through it enjoying it a little. Tamis (Cecilia Tijerina) kind of reminded me of young Snow white in the series Once upon a time. I hated young Snow white with a passion… tho since I wasn’t that into the characters of this movie that same hate was just a meh whatever feeling. Predictable, bad fencing (like watching kindergarden kids re-enact a fantasy battle). Not even boobs and bdsm fantasies can save this movie. Nice movie cover art and font tho…

I thought this was like a sequel to the first but it can’t be… in that case I remember the first totally wrong. It didn’t feel like it even belonged with the first. Lana Clarkson doesn’t even have the same name in the two movies so I guess the description is wrong… oh well, whatever… at least I managed to fill 80 minutes of my day. The only character I liked in this movie was that mute amazon chick.

This is the only movie Joe Finley directed but he’s worked on editing on Game of Thrones (as final colorist), Knight and Day (digital intermediate colorist) and many other editing credits. So I guess being good at digital coloring brings lots of work (93 credits he has).

..I rate this movie 3/10 stars..


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