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Archive for January, 2012

Blubberella (2011)

Warning, Uwe Boll movie … and this one is as bad as they come. I decided to watch it because I found the title hilarious… the movie wasn’t. It’s set during world war 2 yet she has a lap top, internet with dating sites, she likes to dance like Beyonce… another thing that makes you know it will be bad is that Michael Pare is in it…. Me thinks me is into BBW… Blubberella is kind of cute ^.^ Other than that… this is a terribly boring movie with non a engaging storyline and lots of premature ejaculations… How do they come up with this shit… I bet they thought of the name of the movie and then went all blank from there *sigh*.

..I rate this movie 1/10 stars..

Area 51 (2011)

Didn’t expect much of this movie, it’s a Syfy original and I must say I was fairly entertained. Ugly aliens, some humor and gore… wouldn’t expect anything less and it actually was a bit better than I thought It would be. Not to impressed by the alien design but then again I haven’t seen much that can live up to the Alien movies with the exception of Species. Right now I’d take any sci-fi movies while I await Prometheus (the Alien prequel). Area 51 is an ok tv-movie and I believe it would entertain most b-movie sci-fi nerds ^.^ I’ve seen much worse…

..I rate this movie 3/10 stars..

Ben 10 : Alien Swarm (2009)

Ben 10 : Alien Swarm is a typical kid hero type movie… the kind you find on Cartoon Network. Not to impressive acting but for a b-type movie is has some pretty nice effects in it. It’s actually kind of short for a movie, more like an episode in a series. I know very little of the Ben 10 universe but I figure this isn’t the only movie (for all I know it might even be a tv-series)… Anywho… I was at least a bit entertained by it even tho it’s kind of cheesy and stupid. I’ll give the effects credit for that.

..I rate this movie 3/10 stars..

Ballistica (2009)

Yet another movie in the below b-movie cathegory … Think Equilibrium (which is basically where they copied the ballistica skill from) and insted of the gunfighting looking awesome you’ll be rolling on the floor laughing your arse off because it looks so stupid you can’t believe your eyes.

Well, at least I got a few good laughs out of this thing … and they managed to put some eyecandies in there (yeh, I know it’s a douchy thing to say but I like to try see something positive in it besides the laughs). Wish I were as fit as the dude in the lead… I’m to laidback to even get a one pack. I also have to mention that some of the dialogue and comments in the movie made me go WTF, what did you just say ? Did they just add some lines just to fill inn some time or what ? Oh well …

..I rate this movie 1/10 stars..

Varg Veum : De døde har det godt (2012)

The first Norwegian movie I’ve seen in the cinema in quite a while. I fairly enjoyed it even tho I can’t say it’s a cinema worthy movie, more a tv quality movie. I haven’t seen any of the other movies about Varg Veum but after seeing this I wouldn’t mind checking the rest out as well (at some point). I still think the swedes are way ahead of us norwegians when it comes to movie making but this movie shows that we’re at least heading in the right direction.

..I rate this movie 6/10 stars..

Above the Law (1988)

Above the Law or Nico as I know it as from my teens is probably the best movie of Seagal from his early years (My personal favorites tho are Half past dead and Exit wounds). I think he has just one expression on his face and I had to laugh a little when they showed the pictures from his young age as he still had that same expression back then. Nice to see this one again after so many years, it’s still good today I think.

..I rate this movie 6/10 stars..

… man I miss the old trailers with the narrator.

A very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas (2011)

These guys are hilarious as usual … I always get a good laugh of these movies and this one is no exception. That little kid that kept getting drugged cracked me up… poor thing. Danny Trejo must be the scariest father inlaw on can have :S I’d rather be single for the rest of my life than ever experiencing that… and I wouldn’t mind one of them there waffelbots ^.^ I don’t normally like movies which main focus is on drugs (as in most of them e.g Fear and loathing, I bet you gotta be high just to find them entertaining) but the Harold and Kumar movies just make it all funny.

..I rate this movie 7/10 stars..


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