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Archive for 24. November 2011

The Thing (2011)

I guess I’m gonna hear a lot of complaints from movie conaisseurs about this film because it’s a prequel/re-make of The Thing from 1982. I don’t really remember much of the original movie other than it gave me the chills both because of the horror and the atmosphere (*brrrr* cold).

Personally tho I think I like this one more because there is more action, more creature and more Norwegian :P I guess the non scandinavians would need subtitles because of a high norwegian and danish speaking content. To me it makes the atmosphere more authentic… tho they fail on one level and that is it doesn’t seem all that cold for Antarctica in this movie. It’s like a normal winter with like 0 degrees… The old movie at least made me feel like there was intense cold down at the south pole.

Some might question that the producers went with a female lead, why should it matter ? I don’t think this was a bad prequel really, I fairly enjoyed this movie and would probably even watch it again at some point. The old movie has a 8.2/10 on imdb whilest the new one has 6.6/10. There is a certain charm with low tech horror movies compared to animated horror movies I’ll agree to that… but in this case I think this movie has a higher phase which kind of makes up for it. I’m pretty sure that someone that watched the original 20+ times is gonna hate this one… me however only watched it once. I likez it !

..I rate this movie 7/10 stars..

Moonraker (1979)

Despite the silly space battle (which is minimal) this movie is both funny and exciting. I think that Jaws (Richard Kiel) is the funniest and most entertaining bad guy ever in any Bond movie. There is so many funny scenes with him in this movie, a lot more than in The Spy who loved me. If it weren’t for jaws I don’t think I’d enjoy this movie as much.

And again… the space part of the movie is kind of short and for that I am glad. James Bond in space is enough to think WTF and LoL at the same time. I guess the producers had a mini brain fart at the time. Luckily the next movie (For your eyes only) is one of the best ones and it’s back on earth *YAY*.

I actually wish Jaws showed up in more movies but I guess since things turned out as they did he won’t. Tho if you miss him you can check out Aces go places 3 (Mad mission 3).

..I rate this movie 7/10 stars..

Critters (1986)

I remember when this movie ran at the cinema back home. I was about 13 years old and loved the movie. Critters and Gremlins were among my favorite movies back then. Loved the critter voices and big explosions….

Today however, the movie seems a bit eventless …  I guess I’ve gotten spoiled with awesome movies over the years with nice special effects and all that. One can’t expect the movies from the teen years being as good today (well, there are exeptions of course). The movie has a 5.8/10 on and I guess I would have given it something like that and then some 25 years ago.

Guess I gotta find the other 3 movies now…

..I rate this movie 4/10 stars..

Jaws 4 The Revenge (1987)

Om nom nom, Brody’s I’ll get you !

This movie is kind of pityful, but still better than the shitty number 3. They could have skipped that one and made this one the 3rd. Not much of a body count in this one… after all, the shark wants revenge for some weird reason… guess the script writers had a brainfart.

I’m just glad that it’s not uber cgi like the last horrible movie… also glad there is a familiar face from the first two movies so it kind of feel a little authentic… but still, Revenge ? WTF ? The story makes no sense whatsoever.

Oh well, the movie at least managed one thing… make sure I’ll never set foot in the ocean… ever. With all the global warming and shit we’ll have great whites on the norwegian coast in no time.

..I rate this movie 3/10 stars..

Jaws 3 (1983)

Om nom nom, pthjeeew … what’s this shit ?!

You know this movie is gonna be bad just by looking at the font they chose at the movie introduction. It’s like your on a bad acid trip. I didn’t recall them starting with 3D movies this early, but no matter… this movie would even suck if it was one dimentional.

Me thinks this is probably the laziest movie ever made… a lot of red paint, skipping shark scenes with just people suddenly disappearing, horrible cgi like effects… in my opinion the worst shark movie ever made (even Megashark vs giant octopus, sharktopus and all those movies are way more awesome). Doesn’t help trying to use big names like Dennis Quaid, Bess Armstrong and Louis Gossett Jr when the movie is utter shit.

..I rate this movie 2/10 stars..


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